Being an addict means your depravity knows no bounds. It means sacrificing any number of important things and events for the addiction and creates the uncanny ability to rationalize even the most bizarre of actions.
And if you’re trying to balance your golf addiction with a steady, serious relationship, you know just how tough it can be.
It seems like there are thousands of “golf widows” who hate the game as much as you and I love it. This list will give you a glimpse, not only into my life, but into what it’s like to be a golf addict. I’m sure most of you will be able to identify with these quips from my significant other:
13. “‘Tin Cup’ does not count as a romantic movie.”
“I think we should just stay in and have some wine and watch a romantic movie,” She suggests.
I reply, “I agree. I have just the movie!”
When I return with the 1996 golf-romance classic, “Tin Cup,” I’m told that doesn’t qualify.
Really? C’mon! It’s one of the greatest love stories of our time! I mean, Roy McAvoy risks utter humiliation, risks being murdered (OK, not really) by his stripper ex-girlfriend, puts his golf clubs — his golf clubs, damnit! — up as collateral to try and win this girl’s heart. I’m sorry, but that’s Prince freakin’ Charming right there. Not romantic my butt.
12. “If you took a cart then it wasn’t exercise.”
I don’t really like going to the gym, so I’ve gotten into the habit of telling my girl that “golf is exercise.” That’s true, of course, but not if you take a cart — or so I’ve been told.
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11. “What are you doing? Stop making practice swings. We’re getting ice cream.”
As a golf addict, you’re always grinding. Always looking to get better. Sometimes, that means practicing whenever you can. I have been guilty on numerous occasions of making ghost practice swings in public. Heather tells me its embarrassing — I say it’s practice.
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